It’s the early 1970s. In the high school lunchroom, I noticed a group of kids having fun pretending they were playing drums and singing a recent Led Zeppelin release, Black Dog. As I approached the table, hoping to join them, one of the kids said, “You can’t sit here. You’re not cool. You don’t even wear flairs.”
I wore Levi’s jeans and probably told my mom I would like some flairs the next time we shop for new pants. Caving into peer pressure and wanting to earn those “cool” points, I was determined to find a way to fit in. I wanted to be “one of the cool kids.” It would take some time for me to come to my senses.
While that emotional turmoil paled in comparison to the horrors of my home life, I still felt some sense of wanting to be like the others—to fit in somehow. It wasn’t much later… I realized I did not wish to be associated with a group that would exclude someone based on the style of pants he wore!
This incident was one of a few early motivations—blessings I now call them—that moved me farther away from the middle of the bell curve. Statistics helped me realize that being an outlier is akin to saying, “All the Cool Kids” will never include me.
Recently, I had another experience like this, and to my horror, I’ve discovered one Toastmasters group that may be exclusive. Exclusivity is the opposite of Toastmasters’ principles. Go to any Toastmasters meeting and see how warmly you are welcomed into the room! Most groups are actively seeking new members.
In almost any club, you will be made to feel welcome and included, and soon, you will enjoy that sense of belonging that brings out the best in so many people. Please know I would not turn anyone away from any Toastmasters club. I would encourage anyone seeking to join a Toastmasters club to try several groups to find the one (or more) with the friendliest vibe.
I assume this unpleasant experience does not represent Toastmasters International’s climate and culture. I aim to prove the veracity of that statement through further research. I intend to evaluate this club’s behavior when I have a deeper understanding of Toastmasters International’s governing documents.