Accounting for Transformation

It is funny how easy it is to find an analogy to an idea. 

The transformation in this case is my own. Going from debilitating despondent destitute depression to an optimistic outlook took only three steps. So it is appropriate that the list in the graphic above has only three tasks in it. 

The first two items should apply nicely to the process described here. That last one, I'm not so sure how or if it should come to a close. Perhaps when I finish this exercise, I'll simply put it behind me as I'll do with so much of the past. Close the door and move on with life.

Revalue sounds so much like re-evaluate, don't you think? This is an experience I had recently. However, it will be the second in my sequence of events. Items to be settled in a balance sheet sounds sexy, no? Well, probably that will be the toughest part of this exercise. That list might be quite long.

Here are three things that recently happened in my (formerly miserable) life.

One: A counselor put up a matrix and it was a simple image with four quadrants and four labels. I'll have to search the Internet to see if I can find a graphic for you. Essentially, it is about what we experience through our senses, what we experience on the inside with our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Those are the labels top and bottom, respectively. On the left is the word, "Away" and on the right, "Toward." As in, we want to get away from things like uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and we want to move toward who or what is important. This matrix was presented to me on October 2, 2017. Since then I had given it quite a bit of consideration. Also, I learned to be more objective about my thoughts and feelings. As in, I now ask myself, why am I thinking or feeling this or that. It separates my mind from the thought or feeling of the moment. It may seem strange, like an out of body experience, but it works. Doing this lets me have feelings without letting the feelings have me. October 2, 2017 

Two: A conversation I had with a new client allowed me to spew forth all of the details of my progress. From the time I was a kid, ten years old, realizing that I was going to have to raise myself, through the few major jobs I held as paperboy, busboy, tree-trimmer, and Information Services Specialist, to working with start-ups and mortgage brokers, back to computers, where I now run my own business. Through all of that descriptive story-telling I realized I had done pretty well. Not by monetary standards, but by the fact that I continued to get better through the years with experience, determination and a drive to rise to every challenge. God, I really don't enjoy talking about myself. But, sometimes it really helps. Probably November 2, 2017

Three: This same client from thing two suggested a couple of books I should read. One, "The Power of Now," by Ekhart Tolle has changed everything for me. It is a frighteningly simple concept, one you've probably heard many times in your life: Enjoy the moment. Just being and being fully present is the key to enlightenment. Trust me, I was not looking for enlightenment. I was looking for a way to get over my past. It turns out this is the key. While I'm sure I could write an entire blog post and several pages on what all of this means to me, it seems more important to say, you should see what it means to you. Funny thing is, I think I had purchased this book some time ago and ignored it. That is evidence of the obvious, you have to be ready for the lesson. Probably November 6, 2017 (The other book was, "Love is letting go of Fear" which is a whole new topic for a blog post and a speech!)

I'm done now. Or, I may revisit this to add or edit later. But, I've achieved my goal of getting these things into print while they are fresh.